Day 5: Too Many Cooks Spoil the Broth

I came to the Inn looking for a meal and a bed.

Maria, the slender hostess took me to table that could seat eight. When I protested she said "This is our smallest table." she looked a little embarrassed and shrugged as she went to get my drink. 

The room was crowded with large round tables and too many chairs. Crowds of towns folk chatted and ate at nearly every table. The fireplace that took up most of the south wall was roaring merrily. I settled my pack at my feet and looked around for the menu. There wasn't one. I had my head under the table when a big voice interrupted my search.

"You look half starved." A large woman with arms to rival a blacksmiths stood behind me with flour on her apron.  She pinched my cheek and bellowed, " Mamma Mia know what you need. Meat!" she slapped my shoulder so hard she knocked the wind out of me. 

"Was looking for a menu. " I gasped. 

" No menus." She shook her head. "I bring you exactly what you need. No argument. Too many cook spoil the broth, no?"

She took in my broad shoulders and archers hands grunting in affirmation. "I be back!"

I didn't know what to think. I was just finishing off my glass of cider when a rack of the biggest ribs I'd ever seen banged on to the table in front of me. 

 Mamma Mia snatched my empty and glass and replaced it with a stein overflowing with hot cider. I was going to thank her when more landed on the table. An entire loaf of bread with a plate of butter, three large oranges, and a wheel of cheese surrounded me. I peered over the top of the food to see if anyone else had joined me at this feast but I was still alone. 

I began to babble about this being to much for three of me to eat let alone one. She simply patted my head heavily and said "You eat good. Don't leave hungry and tonight I bring midnight snack of fresh cookies to your room." She thundered back to the kitchen shouting "Prepare for dessert!" the tables around me cheered. 

I could hear pots banging and Mamma Mia shouting in what I assume was her native tongue. I began to eat. It was possibly the best meal I'd ever had. Tender and juicy ribs with just a hint of lemon, the bread was still hot from the oven. I could barely make a dent in the amount of food before me but it was marvelous. 

Our mad cook burst from kitchen with two trays of steaming pies balance on her arms. She began to jig as she placed a full pie in front of every customer. They all began to clap along and sing. She placed a hot cherry pie on my plate and circled back to the kitchen. The singing and laughter continued until Mamma Mia bellowed from the kitchen "I don't hear any chewing!"

The merry crowd settled down and began to eat with renewed vigor. I was just too full to try and eat that pie. Maria came around with a large box and whispered "Place your leftovers in here, and don't let her catch you." 

I began stowing my leftovers and whispered back "What?"

" She means well but if you don't clear your plate she'll worry." She smiled weakly, "she just can't stand the thought of people leaving hungry." she mopped the table with her rag and said "Leave a half eaten slice of pie to sell the story that you ate it all," she looked over her shoulder, "and whatever you do, do not tell her I gave you the bill." She placed a paper in my hand. 

 I noticed she was doing the same at every table. Coin was exchanged covertly and boxed leftovers were tucked under chairs or covered with coats.  I glanced down at my bill and couldn't believe the price. Surely it had to be more than that. I wrapped twice the price in coin with the bill and tucked it into her hand when she came back to collect dishes. She grinned. 

Mamma Mia burst from the kitchen with a broom and began hollering it was time to clear out. She threatened to serve them all a dozen cookies each if they didn't head home or up stairs. I scrambled from my seat grinning like a fool and headed to bed. 

I wonder what breakfast will be like tomorrow.